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  • Resentment in Relationships and ROCD: Understanding the Cognitive Connection

    Resentment in Relationships and ROCD: Understanding the Cognitive Connection

    In any romantic relationship, emotions run deep. Love, passion, and shared experiences form a strong bond, but along the journey, misunderstandings and conflicts can arise. Sometimes, negative emotions such as resentment can build up, potentially influencing our perceptions and reactions towards our partners.

    When combined with Relationship Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (ROCD), a subset of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), the scenario can become especially challenging. This article delves into the cognitive interplay between resentment and ROCD, offering insights and tips for understanding and management.

    Understanding Resentment in Relationships

    Resentment is a multifaceted emotion. At its core, resentment involves harboring negative feelings and grudges against someone due to perceived wrongs. In relationships, this can emerge from many scenarios:

    • Perceived Inequity: One partner feels they are putting more into the relationship than they are getting out, be it in terms of effort, emotional support, or finances. Example: Sarah always feels that she is the one planning date nights, vacations, and other activities. Over time, she starts to resent her partner, Mark, for not taking the initiative.
    • Unresolved Conflicts: Arguments or disagreements that aren’t adequately addressed can linger, leading to festering feelings of bitterness.
    • Unmet Expectations: When we expect certain behaviors from our partners and these aren’t met, resentment can grow.

    Relationship Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (ROCD)

    ROCD involves intrusive, unwanted, and distressing thoughts about one’s relationship. Individuals with ROCD constantly doubt the rightness, worth, or longevity of their relationship. This can manifest in two main ways:

    1. Partner-focused obsessions: Doubting the qualities or suitability of one’s partner. Example: Jake constantly questions whether his partner, Laura, is intelligent enough for him, even though he knows, rationally, that she is smart and they have deep, engaging conversations.
    2. Relationship-focused obsessions: Doubting the overall “rightness” of the relationship. Example: Mia often finds herself ruminating on whether she feels “love” in the right way or if her relationship with Ryan is as passionate as it should be.

    The Cognitive Interplay

    When resentment is present in a relationship, it can act as a trigger or amplifier for ROCD symptoms. The lingering negative emotions can make an individual more prone to doubt and obsess over their relationship’s worthiness.

    For instance, if Sarah, who already harbors resentment against Mark for not initiating activities, develops ROCD symptoms, her intrusive thoughts might intensify. She might question not just Mark’s involvement but also whether they’re truly compatible or if he genuinely loves her.

    Exploring Cognitive Themes

    Our cognitive processes play a pivotal role in how we perceive, interpret, and react to the world around us. Within relationships, specific cognitive themes or patterns can significantly impact our behaviors and emotional experiences. Some of these themes include “not just right” feelings, fear of commitment, and the quest for a “perfect relationship.” Let’s delve deeper into these themes to understand their nature and influence.

    1. “Not Just Right” Feelings

    Originating from the OCD literature, the “not just right” experience (NJRE) refers to an uncomfortable feeling that something is off or not as it should be. Though not always tied to any tangible evidence, this sensation prompts individuals to engage in behaviors or mental acts to alleviate the discomfort.

    • Manifestation in Relationships: NJREs can lead individuals to constantly adjust or seek changes in their relationship, hoping to achieve a feeling of “rightness.” For example, they might continually re-evaluate their feelings for their partner or incessantly adjust aspects of their shared living space.
    • Impact: These feelings can cause stress, anxiety, and dissatisfaction. Partners might feel undue pressure or confusion due to the persistent adjustments or checks.

    2. Fear of Commitment

    Fear of commitment, often stemming from previous negative experiences or internalized beliefs, is the apprehension or avoidance of long-term partnership or marriage.

    • Manifestation in Relationships: Those fearing commitment might avoid labels, be reluctant to plan for the future, or frequently question the relationship’s longevity. They may also dread discussions about future goals, moving in together, or marriage.
    • Impact: This fear can hinder relationship progression and create insecurity. Partners might feel rejected or uncertain about the relationship’s future.

    3. “Perfect Relationship” Beliefs

    The modern age, influenced heavily by media and societal expectations, often propagates an idealized version of romantic relationships. This has given rise to the belief that relationships should be flawless.

    • Manifestation in Relationships: Individuals might constantly compare their relationships to others (real or fictional) and feel discontent if theirs doesn’t measure up. They might believe that true love should be free of conflicts, or that the “right” partner would always understand them without communication.
    • Impact: The quest for perfection can lead to chronic dissatisfaction. Minor disagreements might be blown out of proportion, or partners might be frequently switched in search of the “perfect” match.

    Navigating These Cognitive Themes:

    1. Self-awareness: Recognizing and understanding these cognitive patterns is the first step toward addressing them. Reflect on your feelings and beliefs, and try to discern if they are based on reality or distorted cognitive patterns.
    2. Open Communication: Discuss your feelings and fears with your partner. This can foster understanding and prevent misinterpretations.
    3. Challenge Distorted Beliefs: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques, like cognitive restructuring, can help individuals identify and challenge irrational beliefs, replacing them with more balanced thoughts.
    4. Educate Yourself: Understanding the roots and triggers of these cognitive themes can help in managing them. Reading up or attending relationship workshops can provide valuable insights.
    5. Seek Professional Help: If these cognitive patterns severely impact your relationship or well-being, consider seeking therapy. A trained therapist can provide coping strategies and insights.

    In summary, while these cognitive themes can challenge relationships, understanding and addressing them can pave the way for healthier, more fulfilling romantic connections.

    Physical Resentment in Relationships: A CBT Perspective

    Physical resentment in relationships refers to the visceral, bodily reactions one might experience in response to negative feelings or unresolved issues within a romantic relationship. Instead of purely emotional responses, such as anger or sadness, the individual feels the resentment in their body—this might manifest as a tension in the stomach every time a particular topic is broached or a tightening of the chest when thinking about a specific incident. From a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) perspective, these physical sensations are deeply interconnected with our thoughts and emotions.

    Understanding Physical Resentment Through CBT:

    1. Cognitive Appraisals:
    CBT posits that our emotions and bodily reactions are influenced by our cognitive appraisals or interpretations of situations. If someone perceives their partner’s actions as a betrayal or feels unheard, this negative appraisal can lead to both emotional and physical reactions. The body, in essence, echoes the mind’s distress.

    2. Behavioral Connections:
    Over time, certain behaviors or triggers in a relationship can become paired with physical sensations. For instance, if one’s partner often checks their phone during conversations and this is perceived as dismissive, merely seeing the partner with their phone might evoke physical resentment like a knot in the stomach.

    Addressing Physical Resentment in Relationships with CBT:

    1. Identify and Challenge Cognitive Distortions:
    CBT techniques can help individuals recognize distorted thoughts that might be fueling physical resentment. For instance, if someone thinks, “My partner is always ignoring me,” they can challenge this generalization by seeking evidence for and against this belief.

    2. Somatic Awareness:
    Becoming more aware of one’s bodily sensations is crucial. Mindfulness exercises, often integrated into modern CBT, can help individuals tune into their physical sensations without immediate judgment, helping to decouple the automatic link between triggers and physical resentment.

    3. Exposure Techniques:
    Gradual exposure to the triggering situation, while using relaxation techniques, can help desensitize the physical response. For instance, discussing a contentious topic while practicing deep breathing can help manage and eventually reduce the physical sensations of resentment.

    4. Communication Skills:
    One of the pillars of CBT in couples therapy is enhancing communication skills. Being able to communicate feelings of resentment, both emotional and physical, can prevent these feelings from festering and intensifying.

    5. Establishing Healthy Boundaries:
    CBT can also assist individuals in setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. If certain behaviors consistently evoke physical resentment, addressing them and establishing boundaries can be crucial.

    6. Relaxation Techniques:
    Teaching individuals methods to relax, such as deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation, can help counteract the immediate physical sensations of resentment.

    In conclusion, physical resentment in relationships is a palpable testament to the intertwined nature of our thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations. Through CBT, individuals can learn to recognize, understand, and manage these reactions, leading to healthier relationship dynamics.

    Cognitive Tips for Managing Resentment and ROCD

    1. Awareness is Key: Recognize and label your feelings. Are you feeling resentment? Are you having intrusive doubts about your relationship? By identifying these emotions and thoughts, you create a space to address them.
    2. Challenge Distorted Thoughts: Cognitive restructuring, a staple of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), involves identifying and challenging irrational thoughts. If you find yourself thinking, “My partner never supports me,” ask yourself for evidence supporting and refuting this belief.
    3. Communicate Openly: Address feelings of resentment directly with your partner. Open conversations can lead to resolutions and prevent grudges from forming.
    4. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness meditation can help individuals stay present, reducing the power of intrusive thoughts characteristic of ROCD.
    5. Seek Professional Help: If ROCD symptoms are overwhelming, consider seeking a therapist skilled in CBT. They can provide tools and techniques to manage obsessions and compulsions.

    In conclusion, the interplay between resentment and ROCD can make relationships challenging. However, with awareness, effective communication, and cognitive strategies, couples can navigate these hurdles, fostering understanding and growth.

  • 9 Tips: ROCD and General Anxiety Disorder

    9 Tips: ROCD and General Anxiety Disorder

    For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a worrier. But it wasn’t until my late twenties that I realized my worries weren’t just typical concerns; they were manifestations of General Anxiety Disorder (GAD). Every uncertainty, every unknown, felt like a looming threat. I believed that if I didn’t worry about something, it meant I wasn’t prepared or that I didn’t care enough. This constant state of tension was exhausting, but it was all I knew.

    Then, I met Mark. He was everything I had ever hoped for in a partner—kind, understanding, and supportive. But as our relationship deepened, a new kind of anxiety emerged: Relationship Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (ROCD). I found myself constantly questioning our relationship. “Do I really love him? What if I’m making a mistake? What if there’s someone better out there for me?” These intrusive thoughts consumed me.

    The cognitive processes of my GAD and ROCD intertwined in a debilitating way. My intolerance of uncertainty from GAD made the doubts from ROCD even more distressing. I believed that I needed absolute certainty about my feelings for Mark to have a successful relationship. Every time I felt a moment of doubt or unease, my GAD interpreted it as evidence that something was wrong, which only intensified my ROCD thoughts.

    I started engaging in compulsive behaviors to alleviate my anxiety. I’d repeatedly seek reassurance from friends and family about my relationship, ask Mark the same questions about our future, and constantly compare our relationship to others’. But these behaviors only provided temporary relief. The more I sought reassurance, the more I doubted, creating a negative feedback loop that seemed impossible to break.

    It was a vicious cycle: my GAD made me crave certainty, and my ROCD constantly challenged that certainty. Together, they created a relentless loop of doubt and anxiety that threatened to tear apart my relationship and my peace of mind.

    Debbie

    In this post, we will examine General Anxiety Disorder and ROCD, and see why and how the two correlate.

    GAD and CBT: Conceptual model

    Let’s delve into the basic conceptual model of Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) according to CBT theory.

    In CBT, Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) is understood as a chronic state of excessive worry and tension, often without a clear cause. The CBT model for GAD emphasizes the role of cognitive processes in the maintenance of the disorder. Here’s a breakdown:

    1. Worry as a Strategy: Individuals with GAD often use worry as a coping strategy, believing it helps them prepare for or prevent negative outcomes or that it shows they are responsible or caring. However, this strategy is maladaptive because it perpetuates anxiety.
    2. Intolerance of Uncertainty: A central feature of GAD in the CBT model is the intolerance of uncertainty. Individuals with GAD often perceive uncertainty as stressful or threatening and believe they must have certainty to function properly.
    3. Positive Beliefs about Worry: People with GAD often hold positive beliefs about the utility of worry, such as “Worrying helps me cope” or “If I worry, I can prevent bad things from happening.”
    4. Negative Problem Orientation: Individuals with GAD often have a negative problem-solving orientation. They may doubt their problem-solving abilities, view problems as threats, and feel overwhelmed by challenges.
    5. Cognitive Avoidance: People with GAD may engage in worry as a form of cognitive avoidance. By worrying, they distract themselves from more distressing topics or emotions. This avoidance can provide temporary relief but maintains the cycle of anxiety in the long run.
    6. Safety Behaviors: These are behaviors that individuals with GAD engage in to prevent feared outcomes or to feel safer. While they might provide short-term relief, they reinforce anxiety in the long run. For example, someone might constantly check their health vitals fearing a disease, even when they’re healthy.
    7. Somatic Focus: Individuals with GAD often focus on physical sensations as evidence of their anxiety, which can further intensify their worry and anxiety.
    8. Feedback Loop: The relationship between beliefs, behaviors, and emotions can create a feedback loop in GAD. For instance, worrying (behavior) due to a belief that it’s helpful (cognitive) can lead to more anxiety (emotion), which then reinforces the belief in the utility of worry.

    CBT interventions for GAD typically involve:

    • Educating the individual about the nature of worry and GAD.
    • Challenging and modifying maladaptive beliefs about worry and uncertainty.
    • Enhancing problem-solving skills.
    • Teaching relaxation techniques to counteract physical symptoms of anxiety.
    • Exposure to feared outcomes or situations to reduce avoidance behaviors.

    In essence, the CBT model for GAD posits that the disorder is maintained by certain maladaptive beliefs and behaviors, and by addressing these factors, individuals can reduce their symptoms and improve their quality of life.

    Tips for managing ROCD and GAD

    Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) offers a range of strategies to address the challenges posed by Relationship Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (ROCD) and General Anxiety Disorder (GAD). Here are some cognitive-based tips to help manage these challenges:

    1. Cognitive Restructuring:
      • Identify and challenge irrational or negative thoughts. For instance, if Debbie thinks, “I need to be 100% certain about my feelings for Mark,” she can challenge this by asking, “Is it realistic to be 100% certain about anything?”
      • Replace negative thoughts with more balanced and rational ones. Instead of thinking, “If I have doubts, it means I don’t love him,” she could think, “Everyone has doubts sometimes; it’s a natural part of relationships.”
    2. Mindfulness and Acceptance:
      • Practice being present in the moment without judgment. This can help Debbie observe her thoughts without getting caught up in them.
      • Accept that it’s natural to have doubts and uncertainties in a relationship. Trying to push these thoughts away can give them more power.
    3. Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP):
      • Gradually expose oneself to the source of anxiety (e.g., thoughts of uncertainty) without engaging in compulsive behaviors (e.g., seeking reassurance).
      • Over time, this can reduce the anxiety associated with these triggers.
    4. Educate Yourself:
      • Understanding the nature of ROCD and GAD can help in recognizing and challenging the cognitive distortions associated with these disorders.
    5. Avoid Reassurance-Seeking:
      • Constantly seeking reassurance can reinforce doubts and anxieties. Instead, acknowledge the feeling of uncertainty without acting on the compulsion to seek reassurance.
    6. Intolerance of Uncertainty Intervention:
      • Work on becoming more comfortable with uncertainty. This can involve challenging beliefs about the need for certainty and practicing sitting with uncertainty without trying to resolve it.
    7. Journaling:
      • Writing down thoughts and feelings can provide clarity and help in identifying patterns in thinking. Over time, Debbie can review her journal to see how her thoughts evolve and which strategies are most effective for her.
    8. Stay Connected:
      • Engaging in social activities and maintaining connections with loved ones can provide a distraction from ruminative thoughts and offer support.
    9. Limit Comparisons:
      • Comparing one’s relationship to others’ can exacerbate doubts and anxieties. It’s essential to remember that every relationship is unique, and external appearances can be deceiving.

    Conclusion

    In navigating the intricate maze of ROCD and GAD, understanding and employing cognitive-based strategies can be a beacon of hope.

    By recognizing the interplay of thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, individuals can actively challenge and reshape their perceptions, fostering healthier relationships and a more balanced inner world. While the journey may be challenging, with persistence, self-awareness, and the right tools, it’s possible to break free from the debilitating cycles of doubt and anxiety, paving the way for a more fulfilling and harmonious life.

    The old way

    ocd.app

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     $$$ – Therapist costs

     $ – Save money

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    13 published studies

    Time burden

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    3-4 minutes of your day

    Results

    Takes months

    91% see first results within a week

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    User feedback

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    4.8 / 5.0 (2,635 reviews)

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  • ROCD or Wrong relationship: How do I know?

    ROCD or Wrong relationship: How do I know?

    I wanted to chat a bit about something I often see in my practice, something called Relationship Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, or ROCD for short. It’s quite a fascinating, yet challenging, aspect of relationships that not many people are aware of.

    So, imagine this: You’re in a relationship, but your mind is constantly flooded with doubts and worries. Questions like “Do I really love my partner?” or “Are we meant to be together?” keep popping up, no matter how happy you are otherwise. That’s the crux of ROCD. It’s like having a pesky little voice in your head that’s always questioning your feelings and your relationship, even when there’s no real reason to doubt.

    Now, here’s where it gets tricky. Sometimes, these doubts might make you think, “Maybe I’m not actually in love,” which can be pretty confusing and distressing. This is what many of my clients struggle with: figuring out if these thoughts are just ROCD messing with them, or if they’re genuine concerns about their relationship.

    The cool thing about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, is that it helps to sort out these thoughts. It’s like being a detective of your own mind. We look at these intrusive thoughts and try to understand where they’re coming from. Are they just irrational worries, or is there something in the relationship that genuinely doesn’t feel right? CBT is all about challenging these thoughts and seeing them for what they really are.

    But here’s the most important part: it’s okay to have doubts and worries in a relationship. They don’t automatically mean something’s wrong. It’s about understanding where these thoughts are coming from and dealing with them in a healthy way. And that’s what I’m here for – to help navigate these confusing waters and find some clarity.

    So, if you ever find yourself or someone you know tangled up in these kinds of thoughts, just remember, it’s a common challenge, and there’s always a way to work through it. Sometimes, all it takes is a little bit of guidance and self-understanding.

    Take care!

    Prof. Guy Doron

    ROCD is characterized by obsessive thoughts and doubts about one’s romantic relationship. These doubts can stem from various aspects, such as the partner’s feelings, compatibility, or attraction. People with ROCD often engage in compulsive behaviors (e.g., seeking reassurance, checking feelings) to alleviate their anxiety.

    When I met Alex, we hit it off right away. Our conversations flowed effortlessly, and we shared many interests and values. Despite the great connection we had, I couldn’t help but be plagued by doubts about our relationship from the very beginning. I was aware of Relationship Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (ROCD) and its symptoms, which made me question whether my doubts were genuine or simply a manifestation of ROCD.

    These doubts created a constant state of inner turmoil. On one hand, I felt a deep connection with Alex, and on the other, I was unsure if we were truly meant to be together. The more I tried to understand my feelings, the more confused I became. I would ask myself questions like, “Is this love, or am I just convincing myself that it is?” and “Are we truly compatible, or are my concerns a result of ROCD?”

    I found myself overanalyzing every aspect of our relationship, searching for signs that would either validate or invalidate my doubts. My mind would race with thoughts of our future, questioning if we could overcome obstacles and build a life together. This constant uncertainty made it difficult for me to fully enjoy the present moments with Alex and left me feeling emotionally drained.

    I felt trapped in a cycle of doubt and confusion, unsure if my concerns about our relationship were valid or if they were simply a product of ROCD. This internal struggle led to a sense of isolation, as I didn’t know how to communicate these feelings to Alex or anyone else. I felt stuck in a conundrum, unable to differentiate between genuine concerns and the potential influence of ROCD.

    Tudor D.

    Is it OCD or am I not in love?

    One of the most perplexing challenges for individuals experiencing Relationship Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (ROCD) is discerning whether their doubts and anxieties are symptomatic of the disorder or indicators of genuine relationship incompatibility. This section delves into how Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can assist in navigating this complex terrain.

    Understanding the Intricacies of ROCD

    ROCD is characterized by persistent, unwanted thoughts and excessive worries about one’s romantic relationship. Common obsessions include questioning one’s love for their partner, their partner’s love for them, or the ‘rightness’ of the relationship. These obsessions often lead to compulsive behaviors, like constantly seeking reassurance, which are attempts to alleviate the distress caused by these doubts.

    CBT Approach to Differentiation

    CBT, a psychotherapeutic treatment, is grounded in the concept that our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are interconnected. In the context of ROCD, CBT focuses on dissecting these obsessive thoughts and understanding how they influence emotions and actions.

    • Identifying Cognitive Distortions: CBT helps individuals recognize patterns of irrational and unproductive thinking. For instance, ‘all-or-nothing’ thinking might lead someone to believe that any doubt means the relationship is flawed. Recognizing these distortions is the first step in challenging and modifying them.
    • Separating Obsessions from Core Beliefs: Through CBT, individuals learn to differentiate between obsessive thoughts fueled by anxiety and their genuine beliefs and values about their relationship. This distinction is crucial in understanding whether feelings stem from ROCD or from legitimate relationship concerns.

    The Role of Self-Reflection and Professional Guidance

    While CBT provides tools for self-examination, discerning the root of relationship doubts can still be challenging. Here, the guidance of a trained therapist becomes invaluable. A therapist can help navigate these doubts, offering an objective perspective and helping to distinguish between ROCD-driven anxieties and genuine relationship issues.

    Beyond Individual Therapy: Considering the Relationship Context

    It’s important to note that ROCD not only affects the individual but also the dynamics of the relationship. Open communication with one’s partner about these struggles is vital. In some cases, couples therapy might be recommended to address relationship dynamics that may be contributing to or affected by ROCD symptoms.

    The ROCD challenge

    Distinguishing between ROCD and genuine relationship concerns can be challenging for several reasons:

    1. Overlapping symptoms: Both ROCD and genuine relationship concerns can involve doubts, insecurities, and anxiety about the relationship. This overlap in symptoms can make it difficult to determine the root cause of these feelings.
    2. Emotional intensity: Relationships often evoke strong emotions, making it hard to objectively assess the situation. The emotional intensity associated with both ROCD and genuine concerns can blur the lines between the two, leading to confusion.
    3. Normalcy of doubts: It is natural for people to experience doubts and concerns in any relationship. Since some level of uncertainty is expected, it can be challenging to differentiate between normal doubts and those stemming from ROCD.
    4. Internal struggle: People with ROCD may be hesitant to accept that their doubts are a result of a mental health condition rather than genuine concerns. This internal struggle can further complicate the process of distinguishing between the two.
    5. Confirmation bias: Individuals with ROCD may be more likely to notice and focus on the aspects of their relationship that confirm their doubts, leading them to believe that their concerns are valid. This confirmation bias can make it difficult to recognize when the thoughts and feelings are actually symptoms of ROCD.
    6. Lack of awareness: Many people are not familiar with ROCD, so they may not consider it as a possible explanation for their doubts and concerns. Without knowledge of the condition, it becomes even more challenging to identify the true source of these feelings.
    ROCD or not in love?

    It is so, so hard to tell right?

    You know, it’s really important to highlight just how tricky it can be to tell the difference between ROCD and genuine relationship concerns. In life, we’re often told that if we have doubts, it means something is wrong. It’s like we’re conditioned to see doubt as a big red flag. But here’s the twist – with OCD, and especially ROCD, it’s a whole different ball game.

    People with ROCD, or any form of OCD really, have this tendency to give way too much importance to doubts. It’s like their brain is a doubt-magnifying machine. So, a small, normal doubt that most people would shrug off can feel like a huge, glaring problem to someone with ROCD. It’s as if their brain is constantly on high alert, looking for any sign of trouble, even when everything is actually okay.

    The thing is, doubt is a normal part of life, and it’s definitely a normal part of relationships. No relationship is perfect, and it’s natural to question things from time to time. But for someone with ROCD, these doubts can become overwhelming and consuming. They can start to dominate their thoughts and make them question everything about their relationship, even when there’s no real reason to.

    That’s why in therapy, especially with CBT, we work on understanding these doubts. We try to figure out if they’re just the OCD talking or if they’re based on real issues that need addressing. The goal is to help people learn to manage these doubts, to see them for what they are, and not let them take over their lives or their relationships.

    So, if you’re ever feeling swamped by doubts and can’t seem to shake them off, remember, it’s not always as black and white as it seems. Doubts don’t always mean there’s a problem, especially when OCD is in the mix. It’s all about finding that balance and understanding what these doubts really mean for you.

    Here are some signs that may indicate ROCD

    1. Obsessive thoughts: If you find yourself constantly ruminating about your relationship, even when you’re not with your partner, it could be a sign of ROCD.
    2. Compulsive behaviors: Engaging in repetitive behaviors (e.g., seeking reassurance from others, checking feelings) to reduce anxiety might suggest ROCD.
    3. Interference with daily life: If your doubts are affecting your ability to function in daily life (e.g., work, social interactions), it could be a symptom of ROCD.
    4. Excessive focus on “flaws”: People with ROCD may magnify their partner’s imperfections, obsessing over them and questioning the relationship’s viability.
    5. Past patterns: If you’ve experienced similar doubts and obsessions in previous relationships, it could indicate a pattern of ROCD.

    In contrast, typical relationship concerns usually arise from specific issues or situations and don’t involve the same level of obsessive thoughts or compulsive behaviors.

    Ultimately, it’s crucial to consult a mental health professional, such as a therapist or psychologist, to help you determine whether your doubts are due to ROCD or genuine concerns. They can provide guidance, support, and potential treatment options for your specific situation.

    The old way

    ocd.app

    Cost

     $$$ – Therapist costs

     $ – Save money

    Evidence

    No published evidence

    13 published studies

    Time burden

    Long term

    3-4 minutes of your day

    Results

    Takes months

    91% see first results within a week

    Privacy

    Privacy concerns

    Anonymous and private

    User feedback

    Mixed

    4.8 / 5.0 (2,635 reviews)

    Get the app
  • ROCD: 4 tips for living with a person who has Relationship OCD

    ROCD: 4 tips for living with a person who has Relationship OCD

    “I have lived with my partner for four years, and during that time they have been diagnosed with ROCD. It has been really tough at times, as they are constantly doubting our relationship and questioning whether they are really in love with me.

    This has led to them breaking up with me several times, even though they always end up coming back. It’s been really tough trying to deal with their ROCD, as it feels like they are constantly doubting my love for them.

    I have tried to be understanding and patient, but it can be really difficult when they are constantly questioning my feelings.

    I know that they are just trying to make sure that they are really in love with me, but it can be really tough to deal with. I am really hoping that we can find a way to deal with their ROCD, as it is really taking a toll on our relationship.

    I know that they are just trying to do what is best for them, but it is really hard to deal with. I am hoping that we can find a way to overcome this so that we can have a happy and healthy relationship.”

    — Emma G, Minneapolis, MN.

    If you’re in a relationship with someone who suffers from ROCD (Relationship OCD), you know that it can be tough. Here are some tips for living with ROCD:

    1. Communicate openly and honestly.
    This is probably the most important thing you can do. If your partner is fixated on a certain thought or worry, be open to hearing about it. Don’t try to fix the problem, just listen and be supportive.

    2. Be patient.
    ROCD can be a very frustrating condition, both for the sufferer and the partner. It’s important to remember that your partner is not choosing to be this way, and they are likely doing the best they can.

    3. Encourage your partner to seek professional help.
    If the ROCD is severe, it may be necessary to seek professional help. This can be a difficult decision, but ultimately it may be the best thing for both of you.

    4. Take care of yourself. It’s important to remember that you cannot control or fix your partner’s ROCD.
    You can only control how you react to it. Make sure to take care of yourself emotionally and mentally, and don’t hesitate to reach out to friends or family for support.

    The old way

    ocd.app

    Cost

     $$$ – Therapist costs

     $ – Save money

    Evidence

    No published evidence

    13 published studies

    Time burden

    Long term

    3-4 minutes of your day

    Results

    Takes months

    91% see first results within a week

    Privacy

    Privacy concerns

    Anonymous and private

    User feedback

    Mixed

    4.8 / 5.0 (2,635 reviews)

    Get the app
    Get the app
  • Prof. Guy Doron answers your ROCD questions

    Prof. Guy Doron answers your ROCD questions

    This week, GGtude co-founder and CSO Prof. Guy Doron participated as a panelist in International OCD Foundation’s special event about Relationship OCD.

    Join IOCDF lead advocate Chris Trondsen, MS, AMFT, APCC and panelists Prof. Guy Doron, Dr. Danny S. Derby, and Zoe Homonoff as they discuss Relationship OCD (ROCD) and answer your questions.

  • I have doubts about my relationship. Is it normal?

    I have doubts about my relationship. Is it normal?

    Doubt is a defensive mechanism. Its purpose is to warn and protect us from mistakes and danger. A good balance between confidence and doubt ensures we can operate in this world freely and happily, and maintain a healthy relationship.

    However, some people find it much more common to be unsure about things that for others can be more straightforward. For example, we can get preoccupied or obsessed about our partner, spouse or loved ones. This obsessive behaviour and thinking can prevent us from seeing clearly and making the right choices. Instead of protecting us, it can damage our relationships and our well being.

    How do I know if I have ROCD?

    Worrying, having doubts or even being preoccupied with a particular relationship does not automatically suggest a diagnosis of a relationship obsession.

    Like other OCD symptoms, relationship-related OCD symptoms require psychological intervention only when causing significant distress and are incapacitating. Assessing ROCD symptoms, however, is further complicated by the fact that such experiences, even if distressing, may still be a part of the normal course of a still developing relationship, mainly during the flirting and dating stages of a relationship, or reflect real life problems.

    ROCD and the OCD app

    When we developed the app, we decided to focus on beliefs as a catalyst for changing maladaptive behaviours. Beliefs are interesting: We often forget about them, but they sit there in the back of our minds and control us, making us respond in specific ways to various stimuli.

    Our app is focused on helping people improve their condition whether they have normal doubts or if they suffer from Relationship OCD.

    Research shows training for 3-5 minutes a day can benefit users by reducing symptoms and challenging beliefs that hinder judgement.